Actual Comments from teachers in school----- GMZ

These are actual comments made on students' report cards by teachers in the New York City public school system. All teachers were reprimanded (but, boy, are these funny!)
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> 1. Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
> 2. I would not allow this student to breed.
> 3. Your child has delusions of adequacy.
> 4. Your son is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot. (my favorite...)
> 5. Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
> 6. The student has a 'full six-pack' but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.
> 7. This child has been working with glue too much.
> 8. When your daughter's IQ reaches 50, she should sell.
> 9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming..
> 10. If this student were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
> 11. It's impossible to believe the sperm that created this child beat out 1,000,000 others.
> 12. The wheel is turning but the hamster is definitely dead.
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> These are actual comments made by 16 Police Officers. The comments were taken off actual police car videos around the
country:
> 1. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through."
> 2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."
> 3. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."
> 4. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
> 5. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."
> 6. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"
> 7. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift
supervisor?"
> 8. "Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
> 9. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
> 10. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and
step in monkey poop."
> 11. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."
> 12. "In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC."
> 13.. "Just how big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"
> 14. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."
> 15. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."
> AND THE WINNER IS....
>  16. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't.. Sign here."
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